Skywatch Friday: Over the Kind of Rainbow

What is this?  Not quite a rainbow, but surely more than a cloud…

From a distance:

And another closeup… Ahhhh.  Can you feel the magic?

 

3WW – The dance: A story

It was the dance that did it.  He wasn’t supposed to dance.  With her.  That afternoon.

It was supposed to be an easy hit.  In and out in under a minute if he could catch her in between duties, before serving the Plato Especial, before her toes were trodden by yet another infatuated patron.

A simple little accident – nothing obvious.  Just a quick knife jab where her ribs formed a perfect ‘A.’  If he was lucky, maybe catching her mid laugh.  At least that was how the client wanted it.  If possible.

But her invitation to dance caught him off guard.  Her lost eyes mirrored that empty treasure box he kept deep within.  The one with memories of sunny skies, blooming jasmine, a shell, his father’s old watch.  Mementoes lost somewhere along the path toward becoming…something.  Someone. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he nodded thanks.  Yes.  A dance would be lovely.

And as the music ended, as she looked past him, already absent in the search for her next partner, he stayed his hand.

She murmured goodbye; he watched her go.  He knew that walk, recognized the heavy heart beating warmly in her chest.  Beating but not alive. 

And in that instant, his treasure box clattered with a new prize. One he had given himself – and this time, he meant to hold on to it.

 

photo by Alex E. Proimos
Thanks to 3WW for the prompt of :  Give, Obvious, Thanks

OSI: Creative

I can honestly say that I know much less now than I did ten years ago when I began teaching. Each day that passes now is a deeper step into the unknown, a place far beyond where thought has ever touched. A place where there are no ideas, ideals, or new theories—but instead a living and dynamic whole which alone can be called sacred, everlasting, and right before our very eyes.

–Adyashanti

I bow to the Creative Force… This indescribable Everything…

Photo by Mara ~earth light~ (nflorence2012 in Love)
Please visit OSI for more reflections on “Creative”

OSI: Reincarnation

I’ve been thinking a lot lately of turquoise skies
Of adobe

Of shoes: little bow topped flats, delicious heels, suede booties
Of skinny jeans and sweater dresses… J.Crew and Banana Republic, curse you both!

I’ve been thinking of eco-friendly homes. You know, those over million dollar masterpieces on Craigslist that feed a girl’s imagination like nothing else. Damn you Craigslist and your real estate section!

And as the sensation of lack spirals wider, I have to ask… when has clinging to desire ever worked? This daily, sometimes hourly reincarnation of “my life only if…” only serves to take me out of the present. In the present, I’m good.  Not in pain. I’m simply living, breathing in and out, my body at equilibrium. It’s only when I deviate from the now and dive into dreamland that I suffer.

I guess I’ve thought that if let go of my dreams then I’ll stay in some kind of bland, tofu like limbo. That I’ll never get anywhere.

That God will forget me and my dreams.

But I forget that Life has a way of delivering the good stuff no matter what I think or plan or imagine. It can also deliver some serious wallops. In fact, it covers the spectrum rather well without any help from me or my dreams.

Leaving me to enjoy each moment free

of the need to reinvent it. 

Perhaps in trusting the present, I can enjoy my dreams as the play of shadow and light they truly are.

 

For other thoughts on reincarnation, visit OSI
Photo courtesy of by Mara ~earth light~ (nflorence2012 in Love)

OSI: Departed

photo by alicepopkorn

Compassion starts with making friends with ourselves — particularly with our poisons.
–Pema Chodron

It’s not that my fear has left completely
I’m just willing to feel it now.
I find that when I leave me, I suffer.
When I can stay with the discomfort
I’m just in pain, not war

Ok, I won’t lie…
I’m bloody uncomfortable
For a while
And then
I discover that the only thing to have departed
Is the juice… the charge… the engine running the
Pity train.

I may not be in bliss afterwards
But I’m more sane, more grounded
I’ve expanded somehow

And that bliss I thought I needed
That I wanted
So much
Well… I discover I don’t need it afterall
I’ve got me instead

It’s not easy
It takes trust
But I’m worth it

And so are you.

(and for more awesome writing on ‘Departed’ please visit OSI)

OSI: A Shift in Time

You bastard.

If you say so.

You really don’t care?

I wish I did. Well, I did – once.

And now?

Sighs. Something has changed. I don’t know.

You don’t love me. You did and now… you don’t.

It’s not that I don’t – I do – It’s just that I need something else.

I’m too angry for you. I drove you away.

You’re perfect. Stop, this isn’t good for either of us. I just need…

What – you need your space? God, how cliché. Bites nail. Then go. I’m not going to beg.

Looks longingly at the door. Are you sure? You’ll be alright?

Alright? Jesus. No. I’m not alright.

You’re going to be fine, you know.

Brilliant. Brilliant last words. You really are a bastard.

I know. But you’ll see.

Feeling a shift inside.

Yeah, well, I guess I’ll find out. And you’re going to miss out on it. All of it. 
Fuck it. I deserve better.

(Oh, the days of youth… this is real clip of my past.  Thankfully that girl did find her self worth afterall.)  For more great writing on A Shift in Time, visit OSI.

Dia de los Muertos

photo by Atkins Photos

“My soul is prepared.  How’s yours?”

I’ve always enjoyed this quote from Indiana Jones… Remember that scene with Elsa and the speed boats?

Fanatic: If you don’t let go Dr. Jones then we’ll both die.
Indiana: Then we’ll die..
Fanatic: My soul is prepared. How’s yours?

With Halloween just around the corner, as things are entering a period of death and change, I thought this was especially appropriate.  Plus… it’s a great six words!

And so begins a week long celebration of Dia de los Muertos… the Day of the Dead.  Much change is happening in the Belle household… I’m down.  I’m up.  I’m frazzled.  I’m dreaming.  I’m in bliss.  One thing is clear…. death comes to us all.  Better to celebrate it, get slap happy about it even.  Honor, bitch, cherish all those who might have already passed away before us.  Our turn is coming…  

It’s a wonderful chance to ask if we are prepared or if that’s even possible.  More and more I see how breathtaking a bite of sandwich can be, how the silver ground cover under a pine tree brings me deep peace.  I don’t know if I’m prepared – but I can say I am enjoying my moments more than ever.

Free

photo by OiMax

It’s kind of hard to accept – something I have a hard time accepting is that the spiritual search is no better, no higher, no more refined than a search for money, sex, power or whatever.

Tony:  Absolutely. All desire is ultimately the search to come home. And what is strange about this paradox, this mystery, is that everything that is being done – all seeking, all reaching out, all personal endevour, all building of churches and empires, is being-ness. It is pure aliveness. It’s an amazingly strange paradox.

–Conversation with Tony Parsons in “Nothing Being Everything”

April Belle:  “Freedom is the paradox – how rich!”

The Nowness of Now

 

Today I was given a chance to see just how far I can trust this life thing.  Byron Katie often says, “Life happens for you, not to you.”

Today I got to ask myself if I was willing to live in harmony with reality or fight it.  And it was a weird experience.  I sensed the disappointment welling somewhere inside of me.  I could feel the tears threatening to spill, that salty offering to bruised lips.   

I also felt the paradoxical joy of reality being exactly the way it is.  Another BK quote filtered through my awareness.  “All that it is, all that it was and ever could be, is invited to live at its highest power, now.  It’s alright if it kills me; it doesn’t matter, I know not to stop it.  I become so bright, so weightless and lived, so fearlessly allowing, that the joy can have its own full life through me.  And as everything becomes visible, I see its true nature, which is love.” 

Part of the weirdness of today is that weightlessness… Feeling my heart open to WHAT IS.  At the same time, there is this interesting coexistence with sadness.  I’m not going to pretend away my sorrow as I witness another nail in the coffin of a dream.

What I’m left with is the nowness of… now.  Not a tranquil or blissed out now.  Just this moment of salty-sweet; of looking out the glass and finding love in the reflection…

Boobees

HERE’S A NICE SET OF THEM
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WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING TO SEE?? 

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
— Anaïs Nin

I got one of these messages as regular mail, and one as spam.  Combining them… genius!  For more spamtastic posts, visit Sunday Scribbling.